The bartender's working on a late night shiftShe's bonka blonds and Bon aims on a midnight driftAnd the dance band's playing the same old slamI'm sinking whiske y and you're sipping fine wineI don't know what it is you're trying to proveWell it should be you but it's me who can hardly moveAnd I've got my reputation lyin g on the lineCome on babybe a good dog and help the blindWon't you carry me home (Like a truckpick me up)You ain't no lady but you've sure got taste in menThat h ead of yours has got you by time and time againMy arms and legs are aching and m y head's about to blowAnd your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the sh owBut I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right out of coinBut you want mor e and it's half past fourand they want to close the jointBut we can't afford a t axiand it's too late for the busBut I've been told by friends of mine you're som eone I can trustWon't you carry me home(Don't let me lie here in all this beer)Y ou drank all your booze and half of mineI'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for t he sunshine(to come and kill me)Just like the man who threw me on the floorDon't matterwhile I'm down here I might as well tryand find the fucking doorExcuse me have you seen my swizzle stickAnd have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sickI'm dead drunk and heave'n hanging upside downAnd you're getting up and lea vingyou think I'm gonna drownWon't you carry me home
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