Look you've got to understand It's just been me and Eleanor for sixty-seven years So she gets nervous around strangers I wouldn't show that picture to any one
Or they might try to take you two guys back to the laboratory Listen we got rules in this house, and you better follow Them or you'll find yourself outta of here This might be harder then I thought
If you're coming from street, with dirty shoes on your feet That's a technical foul If you switch the radio to some modern music show That's a technical foul If you don't shut the door after using the fridgerator That's a technical foul, a technical foul
If you touch the thermostat, you'll get hit with a bat 'Cause that's a technical foul, you'll feel my wrath If your hair clogs the drain, you'll know the meaning of pain
Cause that's a technical foul, I'll show you no mercy This is such bull shit, hey in this house we say bull spit Or it's a technical foul, a technical foul
Let me get this straight You expect me to change my entire lifestyle in one night Because you guys are a couple of psychotic control freaks You got it bub or you can go rot in the gutter It's up to you Yankee Doodle
Well, I don't want to do that But let me run a few questions by you So I don't screw up accidentally
If I don't spray Lysol, after moving a bowel That's a technical foul, okay? If I decide to wash my ass with your monogrammed towel That's a technical foul
Please say, hieney If I make fun of your crazy feeties Or give sugar cookies to Miss Diabetes That's not only technical foul but, possibly a homicide
Can I sleep past three? If you do you'll get a T Take a wizz in those flowers I'll say hit the showers Use this horn as a bong Adios Tommy Chong
Make some long distance calls You'll get a kick in the balls Can I walk around with my morning erection? If you want an automatic ejection 'Cause that's a technical foul
But I'd like to see it anyway, just kiddin'
There are certain rules which apply in one's life With your sister, friends or imaginary wife I can't believe, I haven't killed myself Respect carries over me on the court Here with Wigs Magee, and a fury elf
Whether you're Jewish diabetic or especially short She's ironic and he's a troll I see, she's strange in my royal carry My imaginary wife is short and hairy They took my wig, I remember the look in their eyes
How did my life get stuck in this shit hole? Why oh why won't someone retrieve my wig, wig, wig? Guess I have to deal with your demands But please don't touch me with your alien hands
I got no right to growl The whistle she's on the prowl Without my wig, I look like an owl Oh, my God, don't laugh at her
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