Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
Once again it's onaka
The miracle of Ch anukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
One day of presents, hell no, we get eight crazy nights
But if you still feel like the only kid in two without a Chr istmas tree
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes numbe r three
Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will & Grace's Debra Messing
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy
Maybe they shoulda called that show "Little Kosher Hou se on the Prairie"
We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black
Tom Arnold co nverted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back
We may not get to kiss under neath the mistletoe
But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow, I'm Jewi sh
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah
The guy in Willie Nelson's band w ho plays harmonica celebrates Chanukah
Osama bin Laden, not a big fan of the Je ws
Well maybe that's 'cause he lost a figure skating match
to gold medalist Sar ah Hughes, her mama's Jewish
Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets wit h such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of - their painful cir cumcisions
As for half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one
And Marl on Brando, not a Jew at all, but it looks to me like he ate one
Gwenyth Paltrow' s half-Jewish, but a full time Oscar winner
Jennifer Conelly's half-Jewish too, and I'd like to put some more in her
There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck, and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew School
Natalie Portmonika, it's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get an abtronika, on this joyful, toyful Chanukah
So get a high colonika, and soil your Long Johni kas
If you really, really wannaka
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happ y Chanukah
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