Backstory:
Tabloid prediction: Dolly Parton will announce she's falling madly in love with a 300 pound professional wrestler. She'll write a song about their relationshi p titled "Headlock on My Heart" and feature her massive muscleman in the video.
Dolly: Now this actually came out in this magazine. Now, you folks I'm sure bu y these every week at the supermarket, right? And you know they never put anyth ing in these magazines that's not true, right? So I figured since I was gonna f all in love anyhow, why wait? So I went out and I found me a 300 pound wrestler and I sat down and I wrote a song called "Headlock on My Heart" and I did a vid eo. As a matter of fact, in the same magazine on a page opposite, there was a p icture of Hulk Hogan. Now, I love Hulk Hogan. My Daddy's crazy about him, so I called Hulk, I said "Would you do this?" 'Cause the song is a fantasy, and it' s about a guy named Starlight Starbright. He said "Aw sure, I'd do anything wit h you, Dolly!" I said "Well, thanks, Hulk, I ought to hug your neck!" So would n't that be something if me and Hulk really wound up getting married? Watch thi s video...
Song:
The first time that I saw him
Was in a wrestling magazine.
Then I watched him on TV,
Then I bought a ringside seat.
His name was Starlight Starbright,
The greatest in the land.
He sprinkled stardust in my eyes
I was his biggest fan.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
It was a takedown from the start.
He's a master of the art.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
Spoken:
Referee: 300 pounds of magic right here in the ring tonight.
Starlight Starbright: Wrestling fans, big and small, who's the greatest of them all?
Dolly: Starlight! Starlight Starbright! Starlight! Starlight Starbright!
He dazzled 'em with brilliance,
He outshined all the rest.
And I loved the heart that beat
Beneath his massive golden chest.
Spoken:
Dolly: In this ring, I thee wed.
Referee: Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
Starlight Starbright: I do!
Referee: And do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?
Dolly: I do, I truly do!
Referee: I now pronounce you man and wife.
Dolly: Uh, you may now kiss the bride.
He's got a headlock on my heart,
That it may likely never part.
He knew the ropes right from the start.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
Spoken:
Dolly: Well, it's a whole new arena for me,
But it's a whole new wrestling match for him.
I guess you could say he pinned me down for a lifetime.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
It was a takedown from the start.
He's a master of the art.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
He's got a headlock on my heart,
That it may likely never part.
He knew the ropes right from the start.
He's got a headlock on my heart.
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