[Chorus:] Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Whoaao o Whaler could have been a Tailor, He turned out to be Norman Mailer He stepp ed back and he smoked a joint Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point Mo mmy was a hamster, Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure Daddy was a jailer He's so glad he's Vlad But you know they didn't like him because all t he Turks were jerks [chorus] When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks Wh en Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned He learned, they burn ed and burned and burned Oh, how he learned Rotisseries of corpses turned He' s so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad
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