Dick Feller
He was a boy when the circus first came to the dust of his West Texas town.
And twenty years later, he'd spent twenty years as Jocko the Sad Circus Clown.
He did slap-stick gags in grease paint and rags and the people would laugh 'til
they cried.
But they never saw past the painted clown mask to the sad, empty man locked insi
de.
The trapeze lady swung easy and gracefully, high in the high trapeze swing.
Her parents were flyers. The circus was her life. The carny was deep in her vein
s.
High in the spotlights in sequins and pink tights, she flew like a bird in the w
ind.
The saw dust's on daughter, the strong men who caught her were all that she brou
ght to her tent.
Jocko worked down with the center ring clowns with a sad painted smile on his fa
ce
And the trapeze lady swung easy and gracefully high in the great canvas space.
Jocko looked up with a tear in his heart and, Lord, he wished he could fly
For she never looked down at a baggy pants clown who looked up with love in his
eyes.
It was Tulsa, the last stop, the last show of the big top, a loud, sell-out crow
d filled the seats.
They clapped for the walk-around and cheered for the clowns. The fliers brought
them to their feet.
Then a still half-lit match fell in tender dry grass and soon found the dry saw
dust floor.
The flames leaped higher. When the people heard, "Fire!" they swept li
ke a wave for the door.
Jocko looked up to the top of the tent and a hundred feet from the ground
Swung the trapeze lady, up on the high swing, alone, with no way to get down.
He ran to the ladder that led to the platform, she cried, "Jocko, no! There
's no time!"
But her quick word of fear fell deaf on love's ear as slowly he started to climb
.
Hand over hand to the high flier's stand, taking the rope that hung there
With one quick look down, the sad circus clown looked up and took to the air.
Slow then slowly he started to swing, his eyes turned to tears in the smoke.
Faster then faster and as he swung past her, her strong flier hands found the ro
pe.
She slipped to the ground as the flames found the rigging and licked at the rope
that he held.
He'd started below when the rigging let go and down to the saw dust he fell.
She ran to his side and with tears in her eyes, "Oh, no! Jocko, why?"
she cried.
He raised his sad head. "I loved you," he said and he closed his eyes
and he died.
Now, the trapeze lady swings easy and gracefully high in the great canvass space
.
But a place and a time are still etched in her mind of a smile painted on a sad
face.
And she sometimes looks down to the center ring clowns for someone she never has
found.
For she still remembers the time when love came to her wearing the face of a clo
wn.
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